Since I have been diagnosed, I have changed doctors 3 times. One Doctor wanted to try me on Pro Crit, but when I had a reaction to it, (mild) He totally discredited my experience and really, sort of went on the 'attack', so to speak. I think he thought I was going to try to sue him or something.( trust me...I have had more interesting medical issues to sue over if I ever wanted to! ha ha ) It was a bizarre confrontation at any rate...and since he told a blatant lie at one point trying to make me see I was imagining the whole thing, I decided it was time to move on.
The next Dr. I tried really wasn't interested when he saw I wasn't interested in any fancy chemo-type drugs, as I told him up front I never would be. I have done my research...for my condition, anything I try chemo/improvement wise, will only possibly help my condition...and probably make my life miserable in the process. After the Procrit experience, no thanks. Sadly, Dr.s don't want to hear they aren't going to make money off you...
Which brings me to my final (so far) Doctor. I actually chose this Doctor because he was nearby. (Dana Farber Institute in Milford) I had been travelling over an hour to the other doctors, and finally decided I really didn't have the energy to go that far every week for blood tests. I live 15 minutes way from the facility. I think I made the right choice!
I have setttled into a routine of sorts, and the doctor I work with has somewhat accepted I don't want any chemo type drugs at any point in my illness, so we have settled on weekly blood transfusions and platelets. Of course, he loves to use scare tactics to try to get me in more often for more frequent transfusions, but I have confronted him about this, and he sort of said...welllll, we just want you to knowwww...
Thanks, you've told me, you've had your nurses tell me, you've had the social worker come in and try to find out why I didn't want serious medical care...I know. I know. But you know what? I am not afraid of what might happen to me. I know I am secure wih Christ...." For to me, to live is Christ, to die is gain" Philippians 1:21 I mean, come on...probably the worst thing you can tell someone is that they are in a potentially critical state, but, yeah... so? That's all ya got?
Don't get me wrong! I want to live! But. I want to live as healthy as I can in my potentially critical state, and that's why no strong crazy drugs will ever be involved. I think they have potential to do more harm than good. The end justifies the means? I don't think so, for me any way.
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